I didn't realize how long it had been since I posted anything. Wow! 2011 was over a year ago and a lot has happened in that year. But I'm not going to mention all of that in this blog. Today I am going to focus on the most recent happenings in our little family.
I am going to start by saying that having children has not come easy to us. We were trying to have a child for 3 years before God gave us Matthew. When I say trying, we never went to a doctor and got advice or fertility treatments or anything. We figured God would bless us when He was ready, and He certainly did. When Matthew was about a year old, we had a miscarriage which broke our hearts and put us down but not out. We have been trying ever since, which has been a little less than 2 years.
That brings us to today. Just before Christmas, we found out we were pregnant again! Very excited and nervous all at the same time. We didn't tell many people what was going on because we were still very early in the pregnancy and praying things would end happy this time. We almost made it to 9 weeks before things started going crazy again. We had started getting our hopes up that things would end differently this time. Blood tests determined that my progesterone was really low, which is bad. Days later, as the doctor suspected, God took our baby to heaven with Him.
When things started happening, we prayed fervently to God, asking Him to let us keep this baby. We also told Him that He was in control and we ultimately wanted what He wanted. We just didn't want to go through the pain and the heartache we did a couple years ago. We prayed for peace and strength. We are heart-broken and life will never be the same, but we have a peace and comfort this time, which has spared us emotionally this second time. God answered our prayers. But not exactly the way we were hoping. I just cannot wait to see what God has in store for His Kingdom and His glory that is far better than blessing us with another child.
Don't get me wrong. We are hurting and we are down but will survive because God has given us strength and love. He cares for us more than we ever deserve. We deserve nothing, but He has given us a wonderful son, and 2 more children we will meet in heaven. He has given us wonderful support from family and friends in the hard times.But ultimately, without God's love and grace, we would be despairing.
If you do not know this love and grace I speak of, I encourage you to find out more. God loves everyone, including you! It doesn't matter what you've done, or who you are, He wants you to come to Him just the way you are. If you want to learn more, talk to me, my husband, or anyone else you know about it soon. You never know what tomorrow will bring.
